Chastising painful emotions leads to problematic behavior like conflict avoidance, acceptance of abusive standards, as well as pain passing to the next by continuing social patterns that prevent an evolution of civil engagement.

When someone hurts us, even if by accident, a natural and dare I say healthy response is anger. That is the ‘ego’/ primal/ survival mindset ensuring safety. 

While repressing reactions by rationalizing actions and forgiving might serve a short resolve, the same thing on repeat might create a lifetime of unmet needs. 

It certainly prevents unionized workers professionally as verbalizing the anger from unethical business practices is what unites those greatest in number, and thusly the least paid enough to ensure they still gain humane treatment and returns for their life spent.

On a personal level it may mean having no where to lean. No community, despite efforts spent as conflicts unspoken create resentments that turn into blame and shaming instead of support.

Trouble is, often, it’s those who held their tongues when hurting that choose to abandon when you are as if you should have known their pain, that even they evaded speaking maybe even acknowledging. 

This is similar to the worker who sees another ‘paying’ for speaking up by silencing themselves instead of standing up in a united front as in both situations it is the one repressing expression that is supporting the oppression &/or pain of another.

This is not neutrality or even really avoidance: it’s internalizing the war while acting on behalf of the same pain aching self.

So ask yourself, do you deserve to host a war over a few words that may cause a turn in the tides in self, perhaps for even the person who may expect silence in their pain passing exchange?

A single boulder in a river can change its whole course; what else are firm words demanding else-ways in waves of pain?