Its the covert narcissist and the entitled narcissist.

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The person that was never valued with the person that was over valued.

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Neither gained the capacity to value self as one was made to take all the accountability while the other never had any.

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They reflect eachother. Are drawn to eachother. And torture eachother. Manipulate eachother. Control eachother.

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One represses their awareness of self while the other their awareness of others. Neither meeting their own needs while both sacrificing what they think will equate getting needs met.

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Covert narcissists think if they martyr (this is where the empathy is used as a tool of deception) themselves enough someone will decide to do the same for them. While the entitled narcissist demand their needs met without concern of another’s.

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A true empath (if people are capable of being exclusively anything which is unlikely in imo) wouldn’t be with a narcissist… they would sense the lack of self love and know their is no way to love someone out of that.

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Either have to choose to take the appropriate amount of accountability which means finding a way to develop self love without the parental coregulation that we evolved to develop it.

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Also, unlike psychology, I do not agree that these labels are a life sentence of permanence. Villianizing and creating permantent problems out of learned behaviors is truely evil. People can change. They just have to choose awareness and to care about others enough to push through… and if they have never seen that happen, will they ever know how to?

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!¡This is not an endorsement to tolerate abuse of any kind from anyone¡!

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This is a perspective that removes the villian and replaces it with a reality both people can improve upon.

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If these ‘empaths’ were real then why do I find racists, ableists, and classists among them?

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People who feel the pain they cause don’t validate causing the pain.🌈