See if you can follow my tracks. 

If you struggle to keep up

Oh well

Good luck

Tired if breaking for another’s incapacity, 

While they blame mine.

——-

Born different:

Visually,

Geographically,

Thinking patterns,

Verbal stylistics,

……..

A normal human existence,

Only it was ‘too far’ 

down the bell curve.

———-

So isolation grew differences anew,

Communication variation widening,

Social experience exposure vacant, 

Belief systems inconsolable

With the world abound

____________

Bullying digging

Wounds deeper;

People that truly 

Want me dead,

maintaining my dread.

Activating genomes ,

To make my body sicker,

Every exchange.

——————

They blame my mind…

While their lips curl at their edges.

And I sit alone drowning

In the very same needs

Any human has,

While they insist otherwise

To ease their minds

And any pull to civil obligation

To not stand aside

While the predators continue

To make quick work

Of what little I have scavenged 

Left of myself. 

~~~~~~~~~

No matter where I go

What I do

Smile

Frown

Colorful

Black and white

Delightful and kind,

Dour or studious…

The results the same,

People can not restrain

Their automatic othering

As if I couldn’t do the same,

Yet my touch starved self

Just keeps reaching

Into the nothingness

That is an ableist infinity:

A black hole.

_____________

No hope found

In a system grounded

In hierarchy

Of abusing each other

By stiflingly voices 

Like mine

Drowning in a manufactured

Mental health crisis

In the name of profit. 

Demanding people machines,

Sameness for ease of processing.

—————-

No way to build a foundation

For a life

When every place

I set foot on

Is ripe in judgmental othering,

All because I was born

Like this

What they call autistic

And I call human. 

My automatic behaviors

They make against social rules

Then claim I am in my way. 

………….

‘Be the same’ they demand!

And when I can’t,

They ensure I am held back

From needs, wants,

Or even a simple conversation

Where another person

Cares to hear

Something I have to share. 

————

Living in constant violence

From the environment

Outside

To the war inside;

As I know when I bent

Inside out to meet their demands

I was still weighed

And unwanted,

Never enough,

Yet, always too much.

All from their selfish demands,

To have comfort in sameness,

Even if it’s not their truth either.

Why yes the tree imaged is still growing in a rock and a hard spot. Won’t get too big though, not in that environment.