And the slammed head
repeatedly against the wall.
Speech speed and pitch raised.
A meltdown.
Undiagnosed elder imploding.
While I sat trying to stop self harm from frustration in communication.
Helpless and yet the only one
Still aware the ground saves
Without harm
The moment we let it.

HE WAS NPD, AUADHD, CPTSD.

And I the lost lamb:

Thinking he came here to love me.

He took what he could 

bam 

blasted out the door 

to have some other girl 

at his door 

in less than five hours.

a sentence to die alone just for caring…. and

believing anyone could possibly love me enough to spend time with me

without the goal of using me.

Don’t get me wrong I didn‘t miss out on a thing with him.

He said he wanted to be my person.

He said anything that looked like love and connection.

he faked empathy while mocking me with manufactured tears.

Bottom line was

He was another r@pist

Who didnt get what he wanted with his lies

So he ran to the first person that would believe him without a second’s thought.

Feels so good to be always right:

Unloveable for being an intelligent female?

Fuck off.