I’m sorry for

Not forgiving you…

But see I hadn’t learned how.

I was too busy punishing myself.

Grueling tasks and massive masks:

If only my pain showed a little less…

Tell a hurting human to smile,

And watch the creepy feelings set in.

Just another thing

On the list of reasons

My humanity isn’t permitted…

By me for your sake.

Forgiveness denied,

Perfection sought,

Alien reasoning:

Assuming seen as the empty inside me.

Wrongfully punishing self…

Through not forgiving you.

Yet it still protects us both

From my ever weakening self.

Smoother edges,

Weaker ledges,

The longing to not die lonely.

Teaching me to embrace

Whatever is…

Though that includes what will never be:

For everyone’s sake.

At least I can finally say:

I forgive you for the humanity

I know we each share,

Even in differences.

Still my world is apart,

Though it breaks my heart.

I must accept what is this moment…

Which will change by the next…

How could anyone flex with that?