As I reflect on the past and my own behaviors I see my racism, my sexism, even my ableism and realize none of these people I wronged or short handed spoke up. Not long ago I heard the idea of rebellion subtly was unwelcome trouble and not as good citizens behave. These two concepts connected grants us a reality where people tolerate abuse to survive a system that is broken. Unfortunately, it’s not just the government’s system. After-all, society is in control of how that is run, right? So the real problem is our society.

What a grand ledge to shove everything over onto! But think, this moves all responsibility to the individual. Not for overnight change, though at a certain point the fire of social change does catch on, but for a change WITH self FOR the whole. How can we make room with already full plates? We can’t. We have to learn how to make space for self and each other incrementally.

This means speaking up when -ismed behavior happens. It means being open to hearing how we hurt someone. It means standing up for what we need. “But some people’s needs are absorbent!” I can hear the cries now. The point of community is that nothing is all on one or two or even three. The health and growth of society and technology requires interdependencies. Yes, globalization. Not like now though.

The WANTS of the few have to come last now. The NEED of the whole for the whole outweighs any paperwork allowances that take whole cultures for granted. Cultural appropriation is happening because white people have for generations loved making money…. Not because they cared about the truths of the collected pieces. Making room for correction is the only way to grant the respect every human deserves. That also means accepting those not originally of your own taking stock in what’s being shared. After all, each culture is brimming with gifts for the spirit and body.

This brings me to the topic of genuine exchange. As an autistic trauma survivor, I have developed high sensitive senses. I believe my awareness of it was for survival purposes alone and that most humans and even mammals have these internal sensors that let them know what’s real or not. I’m still learning to listen because of my awareness; with others it’s automatic. They feel the interpreted lie and avoid said human. Social training teaches some things from birth like long explanations means lies but that’s just in script. What’s behind a long explanation? In some situations it’s long fiction and stress, and for other’s, like me, who have been abused, long explanations are a desperate attempt to connect muddled in stress. The more we feel the disbelief the longer we talk.

The more we reach. Frustration builds and solitude sinks in enveloping any hope for connection as it devours the self and any voice that might screech free. And here the villain bursts out in long repressed pains. I can’t speak for poc but I couldn’t imagine their humanity being different… a bottle holding so much pain and isolation from the opportunities that are not granted equally across class, race, gender, mentality, ability … where do the dividers end in our society? When will we decide to share our side BEFORE walking away. Will there be a time for listening soon? Not until the majority starts granting space for self first. That’s where calm communication gets fertilized. I’m worth five minutes detached today reflecting inwards. How much time will you take just for you? What’s your value to you? Victimhood or victory shared? We can change anything we try.