While I have refrained from sharing my many traumatic experiences, this occurred in this weekend and I feel that people need to understand the pointless violence that occurs on the basis of hate and miscommunication. After four years of being too frightened of social interaction to seek out work, I finally went and got a job. To my dismay after only two hours on my first day I was confronted by a neighbor’s sister, asking me what my issue was with my neighbor. I didn’t and still don’t have any idea what drove anything that was to come. After work I went home and mellowed out waiting for her to return home so I could find out what if anything I did to make her think I had an issue. I asked her and her screaming rambles remained uninterpretable. Her neighbor shoved her and she quickly latched onto my hair. which lead to the second biggest butt kicking I have ever had. While I attempted to fight to get away, my body is fighting malnutrition. My gallbladder is failing and for two years I have struggled daily with being able to eat. Once she finally tired out I drudged home, assuming it was over. I was wrong, my door got a hard knock and six of her family member were waiting to beat me senseless again. Luckily this time I thought to grab my baseball bat. They screamed how unafraid they were of that so I boasted of a double barrel shotgun I don’t own, to get them running. Shortly there after the police showed up. If you have never lived in the projects you may not be aware of the rules. Do not call the cops unless you want further retribution. I did not; however, my mother did. They did not arrest the attacker. The girl clearly has some kind of connections. Either way, I find myself once more in life without a safe place to call home and with out a job or way to get away. Still sitting here baffled as the one white girl in the projects that argues those who bring race into anything. Wondering what makes me a target repeatably. Wondering how to move forward or if surviving is worth this much effort.